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Archives From 12/17/00 --- |
- Is interracial dating okay in
today's society?
- Melissa, Age 18
Great question. That all depends on where you live. We generally
think of society as the entire US. The truth (or reality) of the
situation is different. While interracial dating should
be okay everywhere, there are still places in our country where
it's looked down upon by enough people to make it a dangerous
idea. It can even be dangerous where most people consider it a
okay. If your life, job or other valuables are threatened by
dating someone outside your race, then I'd say it's probably not
a great idea unless you're willing to commit to a very tough
struggle. The name of the game is common sense. If you think bad
things will begin to happen to you, then you need to weigh the
bad things against the good things gained from being in the
relationship. Many of our values are worth fighting for, but
some things are worth fighting for now and others are worth
fighting for at another time or in anther place.
- The Man
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- Do you see any problems in a
relationship between a 24 year old man and an 18 year old
female? Should the age difference be an issue even if it feels
natural?
- Deidre, Age 18
Presumably by the time you're 18 you're old enough to make your
own decisions. You're also old enough to make your own mistakes.
If this is a mistake, you'll find out soon enough. If not, go
for it. Have a great life. There's certainly nothing wrong with
trying something new, and under the circumstances, I'd say
you're okay. Lots of women choose to date older guys. The key is
to be that magic "18 years old". After that you're not
anyone else's responsibility and you're effectively free to try
things, for better or worse.
- The Man
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- Last night my boyfriend stayed
the night at my house. We had sex. He said that he didn't have a
condom so I went along with it. This morning I was picking up
and he was still sleeping, so I decided to wash his clothes.
When I was emptying his pockets I found a condom and I
confronted him. He said, "yeah so what about it?" Now
I'm afraid of what might happen to us.
- Niki, Age 16
You're afraid of what might happen to "us"? Don't
you mean YOU? In other words, when you're home with your baby
every Friday and Saturday night next year while all you're
friends are out partying and getting ready for college, guess
what he's going to be doing? He's not going to be there with
you. He doesn't care about you and you should be scared.
If he did care, he wouldn't have done that. He's a total scum
bag. He deserves jail time in my opinion. And you,
sweetheart, deserve a medal for stupidity. I hope like hell
you're not pregnant, but if you are, get rid of it and don't
EVER have sex again without a condom for any reason no matter
how much you THINK you like a guy. I hope this proves to
you and other youngsters that you don't have enough life
experiences to evaluate risks like having unprotected sex
with idiot 'boyfriends'.
- The Man
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- I'm a guy and I am not fat but
I have... small boobs. I only weigh 130 pounds and
am 15 years old. I try to exercise but I don't know of anything
that would make them go away. I don't even go swimming anymore
because it bugs me so much. Please help.
- Anonymous, Age 15
We all know things about ourselves that we don't like. Sometimes
these things are real and other times they are just inside our
heads. Some anorexic people are so convinced that they are too
fat, they end up in hospitals near death from being so thin. I
think the first thing you need to do is find out if OTHER PEOPLE
think you have boobs. Chances are, others may not even notice
them. Lots of guys have that 'small boob' look and no one
notices. Start with your dad or some other adult you trust, like
your gym teacher or your guidance councilor at school. I have a
feeling they are going to tell you your problem is only in your
head. If that's true, then all you need to solve your problem is
to forget about it.
- The Man
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- I just started seeing this guy
who has a reputation for using girls for sex and other
sex-related acts. He told a very close mutual friend that this
time he really likes me and won't use me like he had the others.
Is it all B.S. to get me to sleep with him?
- Vanessa, Age 15
Yes. Next question.
- The Man
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- Did you
know The Answer Man can now be listened to in MP3 format? It
takes about 10 minutes to download each episode. Click
Here
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- I have been with this guy for 3
years now. Recently he asked about having a threesome. About 2
years ago I wouldn't have minded, but he made me break up with
the girl I was with (by the way, I'm bisexual). He didn't like
her, but if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't have met. Now he
expects me to let him fuck another lady while I watch? I don't
think so! I know that he's going to be pissed regardless of what
I say, but I was wondering how I should tell him in the nicest
way possible that he is not going to fuck another bitch unless
he wants to be single?
- Ms. Kitty, Age 19
Why was it okay a couple of years ago but not now? Make
decisions based on what you feel is right and wrong, not revenge
or just to 'be even'. If there's a hot chick you can both agree
on then go for it. If you're going to let petty differences
govern how you react to people, then you're in for a lifetime of
pain because people will behave the same way back to you.
"Lead by example" is good saying for you to remember.
Be the person who decides things justly and with a level head
rather then emotionally and out of revenge, fear or anger.
- The Man
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- I'm new to the dating game. I
am a plus size girl who usually ends up with skinny guys. When
things fall apart they leave me and date skinny girls. Do you
think I should reconsider losing weight and forgetting about
dating or just keep trying? Its really
depressing.
- Tawny Brooks, Age 26
I think you should definitely lose weight. I'll tell you the
secret. Stop eating so much. American's eat too much and it's
not healthy. I eat just a couple of meals a day. You definitely NEED
to eat good meals, but in moderation. There's always exceptions
to the rule and some people will be large no matter what
they do, but in my travels I've been to poor countries where
people simply can't afford large, frequent meals and guess what
- everyone there is thin. Rich country = fat people. A plain
simple fact in my book. If you stop eating while you're still a
little hungry, eventually you'll lose the pounds. Overweight
woman are attractive to some men, so you're not out of luck. The
problem for you is self esteem. Also, since you are on the heavy
side, you're narrowing your options to only guys who like heavy
women. That's like being in a much smaller lake than the one the
rest of us (thin) people swim in.
- The Man
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- I really like this guy and I
keep asking him out but he keeps on saying no! What should I do
?
- Katrina, Age 19
You mean this happens to women too?! Great. Thanks for making my
day. Do what us guys do. Change targets.
- The Man
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- I had sex with a guy I'm not
dating. Now he won't talk to me... Why?
- Jennifer, Age 16
Get used to it. That's why they call it a 'one night stand'. Now
that you know what it is, you can make proper decisions about it
in the future (i.e. whether to do it or not).
- The Man
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- I have a problem. I have a
fetish with poop. Is there something wrong with me?
- Clark, Age 26
Not if you can find a very discrete woman who also likes... um..
poop. Right and wrong are relative to the situation. Try
dropping a turd on most women and you'd probably face a lawsuit
if you survived the experience - clearly a bad idea. However,
with the right girl (or guy, depending on your preference) you'd
be just fine. I suggest you try those online dating services.
They have areas on the web site where freaky-deaky people like
you can hook up with one another. That's probably your safest
way to find a 'bathroom babe' that doesn't mind getting down and
dirty. Have, um... fun.
- The Man
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- Do guys mind having sex when
their girl is on her period or would they rather wait a week?
- LeAnne, Age 17
Week smeek. I'll wait. Some guys don't mind, though. Just
depends on the dude. Best way to find out it simply to mention
your body is... busy. Maybe he'll want to play hide the salami
anyway, or maybe he'll opt for hide the salami in the backyard
instead. If he's not into it, then he just won't try to go any
further.
- The Man
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- I was just wondering, do you
think that you can give head (a blowjob) too often?
- Jenny, Age 17
A prostitute once told me she gets blisters on the inside of her
mouth. I guess that qualifies as "too often", right?
- The Man
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- During my years in Jr. High and
High School, I've seen these pathetic one day relationships. You
know, the ones that last for about a school day or so. I also
have seen ones that last for several months and I just wanted to
know is there such a thing as actually loving or being in love
with someone at such early ages, such as 13-17?
- Phil, Age 19
Sure, why not? Feeling are real. The real problem is that
feelings at that age are only temporary in most cases. Think
about it. Do you know a single person who fell in love at 13 and
still loves and is with the same person at 25. Does
anyone? Kids are always writing to me telling me how much they
love their boy/girl friends. They say they want to marry and
that they want to have sex and do all that other adult stuff.
They don't realize that no matter how strong their feelings are,
in 3 months to a year all of them will on to new adventures with
different people. Kids only understand the 'hear and now'. They
don't have any comprehension of the future and what it's like to
have adult responsibilities and desires, and they have no idea
how long life really is. Basically, they don't know how much
they don't know.
- The Man
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