 |
 |
|
Want to
advertise
on, invest in or
otherwise contribute to
The Answer
Man? Write
to The
Man |
|
|
 |
 |
|
---
Archives From 12/04/00 --- |
- My boyfriend of 2 years went to
a party on the weekend (I was at work), got drunk and cheated on
me. He told me himself and said sorry. Should I forgive him?
- Kim, Age 17
Depends. Why did he tell you? Were you going to find out anyway?
If you believe he told you because he was genuinely sorry
then forgiving him is up to you. Of course you're setting a
precedent where it would be okay for him to cheat if you do
that. If you forgive him, then you need to be sure that he's not
going to do it again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice,
shame on me. Know what I mean?
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Do guys really care whether or
not a girl has lots of sexual experience... or any at all?
- Kara, Age 16
I remember a cartoon in Playboy some years ago (I read Playboy
for the articles). This guy and this girl were sitting bed next
to each other after doing the 'deed' and she was saying
something like, "Of course you're the first man I've ever
been with. Why do you guys always ask that?" I thought that
was funny. The answer is simple: it really depends on the guy.
Some guys like a woman with a lot of experience because sex is
definitely more fun, while others appreciate the innocence of a
woman who has not 'been around'. The best thing to do is keep
your experience to yourself and gauge your man. Of course at 16,
you shouldn't have any experience at all.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have the biggest crush on a
19 year-old guy who has a girlfriend. The problem is that he
thinks he's in love with her and thinks he wants to marry her.
He even got a tattoo of her name across his chest. I doubt she'd
ever do something like that for him. Because I don't think she
really loves him enough to marry him. The question is...do you
think this guy can also have feelings for someone else, like
me... besides his girlfriend?
- Leslie, Age 17
Do your parents think you're a dumb ass? Let me get this
straight. Here's this guy whose in love with his woman. He's a
dumb ass too, and gets a tattoo of her name on his chest. But
that's not enough of a clue for you. You need explicit
instructions to stay away. Have you thought about the
possibility that you might one day have sex with this nut? How
do you think you're going to feel reading her name on his chest
the whole time? I don't know about you, but reading the name
"BOB" or "JIM" on some chicks ass while I
was pounding away wouldn't exactly thrill me. Anyway, get over
it and move on.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- What do you think of a guy who
has 5 kids with 2 different women. He was married to the first
one for 8 years, and the second one he was with cheated on him
many times. I really love this man but I think others see him as
kind of a bastard for leaving these women with the kids. He pays
child support and sees the kids as often as he can.
- Samantha, Age 30
It sounds like you don't entirely believe this man's story. Is
something fishy going on? If the guy had good reasons for doing
what he did, then there shouldn't be an issue, but you don't
sound convinced yourself. As far as relationships go, I
certainly wouldn't have any more kids with the guy. He's reached
and gone beyond his cosmic allotment in my book.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Do all men, even in a happy,
long term relationship, have the desire to look a other naked
women?
- Kay, Age 38
Do bears shit in the woods? Actually, let me qualify that
answer. If we're talking about staring at Rosanne or Oprah
standing around in the buff, I'd say most guys would happily do
without. Otherwise, do bears shit in the woods?
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have been married for a year
and I dated my husband for 6 years before that. We went through
some hard times (he was in a band and on the road a lot) and we
use to break up all the time. When this happened I would have
sex with other guys. The thing is, it wasn't just to get back at
him (I know he had groupies and did things with them, he told
me.) The thing is, he is really not that good in bed. He is my
best friend and I love him more than anything in the world and
he has so many other great qualities, but he is lacking in that
area. He is just not very sexual (or big!) He has become this
normal business man since we've been married and he is sooo good
to me now. More than I ever dreamed! (With the exception of the
sex.) I have been having these fantasies about certain men and I
have this powerful urge to cheat on him. Frankly, I just don't
find him the least bit exciting anymore. I don't want to cheat
on him and I have tried to talk to him about the sex thing but
it doesn't help. Any advice? I feel like I might cheat on him
any minute. Help!!!!
- Julie, Age 29
Some people are just never satisfied. If he was Ward Cleaver and
you were June, this would never be an issue. The problem here is
that you're spoiled. If something isn't good enough you're off
to the 7/11 to see if you can pick up something a little better
in a larger size. I remember several emails I answered recently
where woman wrote to me about how their men were cheating on
them and they didn't know if they should continue the
relationship. Those women would be very happy to have what you
have. Here you are in a nearly perfect marriage and you're ready
to risk throwing it away over his dong's size. I'd say you
should learn a little self control and keep at it with him.
Maybe he'll come around.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I can't answer
every question. That's why I started a DISCUSSION FORUM where
you can ask other readers questions. Click
Here
Do want to meet THE MAN in person?? I'll be at the
STREAMING MEDIA WEST show at the San Jose Convention center, Dec
12 - 14. Let me know if you'll be there. The Man is going AUDIO.
Soon you'll be able to LISTEN to weekly shows, and we're going
to show off the new format at that time.
- The Man
|
- I really like this guy and I'm
wondering how I can show this through body language?
- Stephanie, Age 16
Good question. You're asking how to flirt, by the way. Eye
contact is the most obvious way to get a guy's attention, but of
course he has to by staring back. Make sure to smile a lot. The
body usually follows what the eyes and face are doing. Just be
sure not to OVERDO it. That can be a turn off for some guys.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- During sex, depending on the
position I tend to suck air into my vagina. And then when we
shift, it comes right back out and makes a typical sound. Okay
stop laughing. My boyfriend doesn't mind, we always just start
to laugh about it but not everyone is so understanding. On top
of it all, I always lose the mood when it happens because we are
laughing and such. Any advice, personal experience with this
same thing, or ways to stop my vagina from doing this weird
thing? The only upside is that it kinda tickles.
- Jamie, Age 21
I don't understand what you mean when you say 'not everyone is
so understanding'. Does this kind of thing happen to you while
you're seated at the dinner table with your family or are you
banging half you're junior college? (kidding) Try putting one of
those little plastic bar straws in there while you're having
sex. You can use tape, staples or super glue to hold it down.
Then air will have a real easy way to get in and get out. Some
women choose to have a doctor drill a hole through their stomach
and install a relief valve to let the air out, but I don't
really recommend that solution since it costs too much and can
end up scratching your partner's stomach if it's not done right.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- You know what? It's starting to
get to me; Why do all these 13 year old kids want to go out
there and screw? I know everyone blames the media and blah blah
blah. Don't they realize that it's revolting to go that far?
Think about it. They're not physically ready, emotionally ready
or mentally stable enough to take such a big step. When I was
13, all I wanted to do was watch TV and draw comics... Now all
of a sudden all these kids [even my sister] want to have sex at
such a young age. It makes me sick! Do you have ANY idea why
they feel so compelled to go this far this young???
- Annia, Age 15
I remember being that age (13) and feeling like I was ready for
sex. The fact is, children are simply ignorant. They haven't
learned life's lessons and many parents neglect to talk to their
kids about sex for any number of reasons. This world has 6
billion people. Some of these people will be successful doctors,
engineers, even just home makers or housewives. Others will get
pregnant at 13 and have a rough life, no education and a screwed
up family from those days forward. That's just how things are.
It's almost like being a bug flying down the highway. Some will
hit the windshields while others will enjoy the vacuum left by
those who fail. You seem to have a level head. Your sister,
well, that's another story. Perhaps she'll turn out okay. I
suggest you talk to your mom and suggest she talk to you and
your sister about the risks of sex at an early age if she hasn't
already done so.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Why does my boyfriend get so
mad when I ask him what's wrong with him?
- Helen, Age 25
Because. Just stop. Maybe he just feels like a little quiet
time. If that's true, you're going to seem like a nag. Sometimes
we just want to be left alone and we don't have reason for it.
Girls are the same way. Nagging him is only going to make things
worse. By the way, if he's like that all the time, it may be a
sign that things are coming to an end. Once in a while is
probably no big deal.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I'm 41 years old and married to
a great guy, but our sex life is starting to slow down. Recently
I have been having sex with a 21 year old that can perform for 3
hours without stopping! Wow! What a change, I guess my question
is - is it unusual for a man to be able to keep having erections
time after time without stopping like he does?
- Spicy, age 41
Funny. No problem just banging this 21 year old, eh? Anyway,
young guys can go and go and go, but with Viagra, so can some of
the older ones. Maybe your husband would be better behind the
wheel with a little rocket fuel in the engine.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My guy loves me and I'm very
confidant in this fact, however, he has a child with his ex and
it bothers me when they discuss more than his son. It never gets
truly personal but they can talk for anywhere from 2 minutes to
20. Should I be bugged and how do I inform him and let him know
it truly DOES bother me? I've told him in the past and it cools
down only to start again after a couple of weeks. Advice?
- Sarah, Age 30
Get over it. 20 minutes is not a big deal and 2 minutes is
certainly not a big deal. It's important for him to maintain a
relationship of some kind with his ex. It's better for the child
as it sets a better example then if they weren't friends. If he
would talk to her for hours all the time I could understand more
you being upset about it, but having a casual conversation once
in a while shouldn't bother you. (Unless you're convinced
they're trying to get back together and you see the writing on
the wall.)
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I've been born and raised a
catholic - I'm not devout by any means. Lately I have been privy
to quite a few conversations about anal sex. Now, I've
personally never tried it, don't think I will, (I have enough
trouble with the occasional constipation), but what I was
wondering is do men get off on it? Do you guy's like to do it
that way? I never thought it was common practice until recently.
I've asked a few of my long time girl friends, and to my HUGE
surprise, they've all tried it- at least once. What the hell?
I'm just as hip as the next person, I've had sex, I ENJOY sex. I
like men...just not in my ass.
- Gina, Age 26
I guess it just goes to show you that life is not always what we
expect it to be, eh Gina? First of all, men like the idea of
using their dinks regardless of what hole it's poking
into. I'm just glad the electrical sockets in my house don't
expand!! The whole rear entry thing - well, that's just another
thing to try in life. I suggest you give it a shot at least
once. The only real losses are the once we never experience.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have been with my girl for
more than two years now, and I do love her a lot. However, I
notice now that she is so comfortable with me I find her not
doing things that I am really attracted to. I notice she has
stopped working out and is gaining a little weight and she only
really shaves on "special occasions". I have tried to
come up with ways to help tone her back up, like propose trips
to the gym together or ask her to work out with me, etc., but it
is not really working. I love her to death but and I am
attracted to more than her looks, but I also know what I like.
What she is becoming is not too much of a turn on for me...
PLEASE help.
- Slim, Age 19
So, you're honey has been hitting the bon bons rather hard
lately? I understand. Physical attraction is important and so is
staying in shape. On the other hand, you've got something good
with this girl. I think you need to make an effort to help her
understand what is troubling you. I wonder how Ward Cleaver
would have felt if June put on 60 pounds? Actually he'd have
stayed with her no matter what. There are certain things that
bind a couple together... Maybe marriage vows should
include 'for fatter or thinner' huh?
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I have a hot boyfriend. We love
each other very much. A few nights ago, we both got naked and
tried to have sex. He had a bent dick! His penis curved
downwards. I burst into laughter, and I just left because it he
might hurt me by trying to put that bent-dick in me. He is very
sweet and handsome. Now I feel bad. What should I do?
Anonymous
Okay, so your man pulls down his tighty-whities and you burst
into laughter and leave? Smooth move, pal. You've probably
maimed this poor guy for life. I have no idea how I'd feel if
some chick took a look at my dong and burst out laughing, but it
wouldn't be on the 'good' side of the spectrum!! I suggest you
take a class in tact. Then go apologize.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My boyfriend can't get hard
after he has his first orgasm...What can we do for this?
- Anonymous, Age 20
Tell him to stop unloading right before he comes over.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- My boyfriend tends to get soft
in the middle of intercourse fairly often. He usually manages to
finish, but he seems to lose his train of thought, so to
speak... He is also going through a 'phase' in which he wants to
try more kinky things. Now, I'm wondering, are these two things
combined an indication that maybe he's got some issues? I don't
want to have to eventually screw him in front of an audience in
order for him to get turned on.. know what I mean? I like kinky,
too, but it's starting to get hard to keep up with him.
- Angela, Age 31
Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me. Maybe you should ask
him what's going on. Try being very direct about it. don't beat
around the bush. If you can catch him off guard with a very
pointed question or two, you're more likely to get straight
answers.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- How do I get the guy of my
dreams to at least notice me?
- Rebecca, Age 18
Show him your boobs.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- Hey just thought I'd let you
know that in your FAQ section you kinda screwed up on question
#6
Q. How do you give a guy a hand job?
A. With your mouth.
Last I heard you gave a hand job with your hands!
- Tammy, Age 25
Not in my world, honey.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I hate my man looking at porn
it makes me feel inadequate I've told him and he kinda ignores
it what should i do?
- Lisa, Age 25
If it really bothers you, he should stop. It's a courtesy thing.
Or at least he should do it when you're not around. On the other
hand, this is your trip. In other words, who cares? Learn to
deal with it. Lots of women write and ask me what to do as a
man's sex drive slows (and yes, it does slow down for a lot of
guys). In 5 more years you might be begging him to look at some
porn just to get him turned on a little. Know what I mean? I
suggest you mellow out a little about this subject. Boys will be
boys. Try not to be too hurt. It's better then him cheating...
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
- I recently moved and I met a
really sweet guy. He makes me laugh, he's really nice, and I
like him a lot. I actually think I might be falling in love with
him.... but, the problem is, he's way more religious than I am.
We both share the same faith, but sometimes I feel "insuperior"
to him because of it. I'm not a *lets go share the faith with
everyone* type of person. I don't think he really is either but
his whole family is, and I don't know if I can put up with the
family's extreme religious ideas. help me please!
- KC, no age
So, the family has a bunch of bible thumpers and you're
concerned. I think you should be. The problem with these
religious types is that they think and feel justified in
preaching to everyone around them. If you're not with their
program then you're going to have a tough time. Ironically, the
more religious a person, the less tolerant they are of others.
(This is obviously NOT a hard and fast rule, but it rings true
for the bible thumping type more often then not.) Nothing rubs
me the wrong way more then having someone hand me a pamphlet
with a "God Loves You" title. Jeez! I suggest you get
it out in the open as soon as possible. Tell him (and them) that
you're not as 'religious' as they are and you don't think you
ever will be. If they are going to be a problem, you'll find out
soon enough. I think it would be better to know now, rather then
in a year or two when things are very much more serious.
- The Man
Ask a Question
|
|
Bookmark
The Answer Man Web site
Read
Old Advice Columns
|
|
