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Archives from 08/08/01 --- |
- I recently started dating this
guy (we've dated before). I haven't had sex with him in a month.
Well the sex was rough, and he never finished because I was way
done. After I told him to stop he got up and left like 5 minutes
later. His excuse was that he had to go to work in 5 hours. My
questions is why do women want to cuddle all the time and men
want to leave right after sex?
- Nicole, Age 21 from Iowa
You know why the "main event" for any show is always
the last thing you see? Because people want to leave right away
after it's over. Once the event reaches it's climax, there' s
really nothing to hang around for, is there? Rock concerts are a
good example. You don't see Brian Cline hit the stage until Dave
Mathews gets his 45 minute starting set out of the way. Why?
Because if the best performer played first, no one would hang
around to see who comes next. Get my point? Now, for men, sex is
definitely the main event. That's why we're halfway out the door
before we're even, umm, you know - done. For women, sex
is less important. The main event for women is the relationship,
not the sex. That's why you're more than happy to hang around
after sex to cuddle. Make sense? The next time you bang some
guy, if he hangs around to cuddle, that's a pretty good
indication that he's interested in the relationship more than
the sex. Otherwise, he's gotta work in 5 hours, babe, and thanks
for the hummer.
- The Man
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- I've been married for about
half a year. Sex is really good, but sometimes I try to make
suggestions. My husband gets offended and turns over and goes to
sleep. It's a blow to his ego, but how can I make him more
receptive to my suggestions?
- Rachel, Age 20 from D.C.
This mule needs a carrot. Right now there's no incentive for him
to listen. You need to make the deal profitable for him. Tell
him (before you start) that for every suggestion of yours he's
willing to listen to (not take, just listen to), you'll give him
a mouth watering, mindblowing, earth shattering blow job. (By
the way, if he doesn't want it, I'm open to the idea. j/k) When
you do have a suggestion, timing is important. Tell him after
you're done. Not during. It ruins the moment for the guy. It's
like dropping a catch or striking out. It's much better to see
the error during the instant replay then to have the game stop
in the middle of the play. Get my drift?
- The Man
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- I'm not sure if I like the
go-go boots I bought. You know, the knee-high leather boots. Do
guys think these are trendy & sexy or trashy?
- Jessica, Age 20
Yes. Keep them >:-) Send me a picture.
- The Man
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- I recently ended a
relationship. We were together for a little over a year. He
admits he put very little effort into the relationship. He isn't
showing signs of a great loss because of our break up. My
question is (note: we have a son together): When he calls why
does he say things to hurt me. Like today he said "I got
laid last night." I was the one to end the relationship,
but I only did because he quit caring. I am not really broken up
by the end of our relationship either, but it really gets to me
that he wants to hurt me. I thought maybe if I knew why it may
not bug me so much.
- Regina, Age from Missouri
No one likes to be dumped. His behavior is just a power play
thing. He's trying to regain some of his self respect. It won't
work, though, because nothing he can say to you will make him
feel better. No matter what he does or says, you still dumped
him. Therefore I would expect this behavior to continue. Since
you have a kid with this guy, I suggest you prepare yourself to
deal with these kinds of stupid comments for years to come.
Maybe he'll get over it eventually and maybe he won't. If you're
not prepared for it, it's going to be difficult when he's around
to see your son.
- The Man
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- My girlfriend and I have been
in an off and on relationship for over 12 years. The problem I
have now is that I can't get an erection for her. I don't have a
problem getting an erection for any other female. Why?
- Carlos, Age 44 from Florida
I'm no doctor, but it seems pretty obvious that this is some
kind of psychological problem. At any rate, who cares? Go get
some Viagra. You're the guy they invented it for.
- The Man
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- Do you
have any idea how busy The Answer Man is???! If he doesn't have
time to answer your question, you can always get answers in the
forum from other people just like you.
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- Can a long term relationship
come out of two people agreeing to be "piece buddies"
at first?
- Skylar, Age 19 from Canada
Sure, when pigs fly. j/k. Actually, if that's your whole
motivation, then you're wasting your time. Anything is possible,
but the statistics are not in your favor. If you're in it for
the sex and just wondering, then have at it. I've heard of it
happening.
- The Man
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- I've recently been separated
from my husband of 3 years. I'm now living with my boyfriend. My
boyfriend is the type that people call a player, but with me,
he's totally different and says he's 100% committed to our
relationship, wants to marry me asap and have children. I've
been asking myself for the last 6 months if I can trust him, and
he's really given me no reason not to, except for what everyone
says about him. Truth is, he is a flirt and has cheated on his
last girlfriend.. with me. Do I trust him or keep my eyes
opened?
- Teena, Age 21 from Canada
What's the rush? You're going to be getting your second divorce
before you turn 23 at this rate, AND you'll be a single mom.
That's just nutty. Why not put the brakes on a little, sister.
Live with the guy if you want to, but there's no reason get
married in a big hurry. If you're meant to stay together, then
you WILL stay together. Getting married isn't going to make that
happen any more or any less. Understand? If you marry this guy,
I predict you're going to feel remarkably stupid at some
point in your near future, especially since everyone warned you
about this guy. If you MUST get engaged, then set the date 3
years out. There's NO reason to rush this and EVERY reason not
to.
- The Man
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- I've been out of the dating
scene for over 2 years now. I've always been pretty shy and when
it comes to approaching women, well, I fall flat on my ass
mostly. I recently met a girl through a mutual friend and got
the balls up to ask her if I could feed her. She said
"YES" right away. I feel pretty damn good now! It
wasn't all that bad! Now that I'm over that part, how do I
entice her into coming back for another?
- Outuvthaloop, Age 26 from North Carolina
This one's simple: Just ask her. You're past the hard part. If
you ask her out and she says yes, you're in. If she say's no,
you're out. Once you past the first date, her answer to the next
date is usually a pretty good indication of how you did.
- The Man
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- I just read some of your advice
and I respect your advice. I met this guy about a month ago and
we went out once; I think he is kind of nice. My problem is that
he doesn't have anything (good job, car, money). Dinner and a
movie is nice, but I don't want to be the one who pays (that's
why we only went out once). I don't want to sound like I am
materialistic, but I want to be romanced. All of my friends have
a boyfriend and since I am by myself, it's nice to have a man to
talk about. A part of me thinks that I can not do any better
than this guy. At 27, I need to find a man and settle down. Do
you think that I am being too materialistic and shallow to focus
on his lack of finances?
- Jenn, Age 27 from New York
Some people might but I don't. It's always easy to compromise
when you just meet someone. It's later on when things get tough.
If he's not cutting the mustard now, then you might just weed
him out before things get complicated. There's nothing wrong
with a little qualification process to your mating game.
Everyone does it to some extent. You'd be going overboard if you
insisted he own a Rolls Bentley, but if you're being reasonable
about the criteria then it's probably a good thing.
- The Man
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- How can I take a married man
away from his wife. What would work for you?
- Carol, Age 34 from Maine
So, you want to destroy someone else's life and you're hoping I
can tell you how to do that effectively? Why not find someone
else? I know you're feeling old at 34 and like you need to
settle down, but what kind of guy would this be? If he cheats on
her, you're probably just next.
- The Man
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- Hi I'm only 15 and I don't want
to have sex, neither does my boyfriend. However we started
having dry sex after a friend suggested it. Dry sex is having
sex but with clothes, she said she was sure he couldn't get his
semen in me until I heard a friend saying that his semen can go
through our clothes. Can this really happen?
- Star, Age 15 from New York
The chances are so small that I'd say you're probably safe as
long as you stay fully clothed (don't take your pants off).
- The Man
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- Listen to The
Man's 10 Minute Internet Talk Show, built for your coffee break.
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- Hello, Mr. Man I am a 24 year
old male and I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I have
been using crack-cocaine for about 1 year now and she wants me
to stop. I don't want to stop using though because it makes me
feel great. I love my girlfriend but the drug is more powerful
to me than she will ever be.
- Sean, Age 24 from Florida
That's reasonable. Stupid but reasonable. She'll put up with it
until you go to jail, rehab or the hospital and then she'll
start over with someone else. What's the question?
- The Man
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- I have been married for 19
years and have been getting a cold shoulder from my wife in the
bedroom for quite some time now. Last September she told me that
after 18 years of marriage I should know that she did not enjoy
sex and that she probably never would, and could care less if we
ever did it again. This was very devastating to me. I had always
tried to please her and thought I was. Since then we have only
made love about 4 times, now I don't want to even kiss or touch
her. I asked her the other day what I could to be a better
husband and she said nothing, everything is just fine. Honestly
I cannot go on much longer like this. Do you have any
suggestions?
- Mike, Age 40 from Arkansas
You have to bring this up with her. Otherwise it's just going to
eat at you. The again, marriage is about compromise. I get
emails all the time from people who either want more or less sex
then their husbands/wives/mates/whatever. You either deal with
it or make a change. I will say that if she doesn't enjoy sex at
all, there's not a whole lot you can do.
- The Man
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- Simple but important question.
Every time I have sex it is the same old thing... Can you give
me any new and exotic positions... be specific. Step by Step
instructions would be very helpful. Thanks!
- Danielle, Age 19 from Iowa
Sure. Stop by. I teach a 1 on 1 class. Not too expensive either.
Tuesday good for you?
- The Man
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- I'm happily married now and
have a wonderful little family, however my sons dad is not his
father. His father was an abusive alcoholic and junkie. I loved
him but had to leave him for the safety and sanity of my son and
I. Do you think I should try to stay in contact with him?
- Tammy, Age 29 from Arizona
No, not really. Why would you want your son around a junkie,
especially when there's already a adult man in his life. Raise
the kid. Then the kid can choose to make contact. If you bring
him into your life, you're just adding all kinds of trouble you
don't need and your kid doesn't need.
- The Man
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- Why does my vagina have a fishy
smell to it during sex?
- Yellow, Age 18 from South Carolina
That's just a simple case of bad luck, honey.
- The Man
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- I want to dump my 2 month
boyfriend but I just can't! I can't say it. Plus our friends are
mutual, and they for sure will stick by him. Men are always
together and they were all so excited about us two being a
couple. I don't think I ever even fancied him enough to be with
him even. Help?
- Jane, Age 20 from New Zealand
Sounds like a slloooow breakup rather then a quick one. Don't
return phone calls. Be unavailable. Stop making out with him.
Basically, blow him off a piece at a time. This way, he might
get sick of your lack of interest and go elsewhere. You need to
make him suspect it's not working out. Then, when the time is
right, you can discuss things "not working out" in a
nice way. If you can keep him as a friend then you're golden.
I've seen this done, but it's a complicated maneuver. This is a
pro move. You're going to need a little luck to pull it off.
This tried and true method of ending a relationship is a little
underhanded, but it's been used for thousands of years by both
sexes with great success under often difficult circumstances.
- The Man
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- I just had sex with my
boyfriend last night and I did it a few days before my period.
Can I get pregnant?
- Shanika, Age 16 from Florida
You're way too stupid to be having sex. Stop it before you hurt
yourself.
- The Man
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