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---
May, 2002 --- |
- I was wondering if there is a
technical term for those spots that when touched by someone of
the opposite sex, "turn you on"? Lastly, I'd like to
know if a few of them jus' so I can "test drive" them
on my boy.
- Clairice, Age 23 from Ireland
It's not where, you touch, Clairice. It's HOW. If your man knew
what he was doing, he could turn you on by touching just about any
part of your body - your back, your arms, your feet. It really
doesn't matter. If the person knows what he's doing, he could have
you begging for mercy without ever removing an article of your
clothing. Hell, there have been times when I've had women so
turned on just by... actually, never mind. Just trust me on this
one. 
- The Man
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- I'm in love with my best
friend. We totally click and everything just feels right when
we're together. One night we were drunk and he told me that he
loves me. I'm not sure if he meant that he loves me as a really
good friend or that he's IN love with me. He's also tells me
(when he's drunk) that he wants to have sex with me. He's said
(on a different occasion) that a persons real feelings come out
when they're drunk. I'm really confused and don't want to ruin
our friendship. We act as a couple and everyone thinks we're a
couple. We kiss, hold hands do all the couply things except sex.
The thing is...he's gay. What do you think?
- Holly, from Canada
Holly, you're all over the map on this one. All the signs are
there, but he's gay? He doesn't sound gay. He sounds confused.
Gay guys don't want to have sex with women. At the very least
he's bi-sexual. If you like him, go for it. Sounds like it might
be a nice fit for a while.
- The Man
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- My best friend and I always go
to clubs together to meet guys but they always like her! I'm
average build and I'm not ugly but she's really pretty with a
really nice body. I have better social skills and I'm funny...
guys love to talk with me but as for dating ... well that's
where they choose my demanding and oddly quiet best friend!
What's up with that? Her last boyfriend was about a month ago
and mine was at 8 months ago! I'm starting to get lonely and I
want a boyfriend more then ever now! Please help me!
- Kayla, Age 24 from Canada
You need an ugly friend to hang out with. It will change your
life. When I was in college I dated this girl and didn't realize
that she was 20 pounds overweight until I stopped and took a
good look once I got her away from the troop of chocoholics she
hung out with. They were all biggums and made her look like a
rail.
- The Man
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- I have been told that I have a
very nice size penis. I was wondering, however, if it is really
possible to increase it's size.
- David, Age 41 from Illinois
People are SO gullible - even at 41, evidently. Your penis
is not like a pet. It won't grow no matter how many times you
feed it. Save your money for Hooked on Phonics.
- The Man
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- It seems like everyone my age
is having sex. I have a girlfriend but I don't think I want to
risk it. You know how people say that rubbers can break? Well
how hard is it really to get a girl pregnant?
- Kyle, Age 16 from Florida
Each year, almost 1 million teenage women (10% of all women aged
15-19 and 19% of those who have had sexual intercourse) become
pregnant. It's a pretty big number. You're like the one voice of
reason I've had write to me in a while. Congratulations. Here's
a link with more info: http://www.agi-usa.org/pubs/fb_teen_sex.html
- The Man
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- Do you have any
idea how busy The Answer Man is??! If he doesn't have time to
answer your question, you can always get (and give) answers in
the public forums from people just like you.
Click here if you want to check them out.
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- I have coffee every morning at
a self serve coffee bar. Some of the local railway guys come in
about the same time as myself. One of these workers comes by my
table and fills up my cup when he fills up his friends. (I am on
the other side of the restaurant.) My friends at work say he
likes me yet I think he is just being kind... I am just new to
singledom after 10 years! What do you think??
- Terry, Age 36 from Canada
This one is pretty simple. He likes you. He wouldn't do it if he
wasn't interested. If you like him too, ask him out. He'll go.
- The Man
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- My husband always complains
that I never approach him for sex (while he's sleeping, while
he's on the computer working, etc.), but the few times that I
have, he has turned me down. He still complains that I never
approach him, and says that when I have approached him, I did it
wrong. The other day, he even commented that I was so 'freaky'
that it almost scared him (I went outside naked, I was putting
on my makeup wearing underclothes, stockings, and shoes, etc.,
nothing exciting or exotic worth speaking of). How soft do I
have to sell myself to him? Is this a guy thing, or is this just
him? I have no other experience with men, so I am confused?
- Stella, Age 31 from Louisiana
Wow. You're 31, you have no experience with other men and you
don't know how to approach your own husband? Were you recently
released from a 30 year solitary confinement? j/k. You seem
remarkably ... unknowledgeable for you position and age. I
imagine you've been married for a while. Sometimes when you've
been with someone a billion times, you become both comfortable
and familiar. That can lead to complacency in a sexual
relationship which can be mistaken for other things. For
instance, women often wonder if the men they are with still find
them 'sexy' or if the are still in love with them. I've said
this many times before, but I'll say it again. If you eat the
same dish every night, you're going to get bored after a while.
He's just finding excuses to cool things off. The problem, of
course is whether there's a way to warm him back up or not.
- The Man
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- I like this guy at my work.
Let's call him Bob. He works in maintenance so I'm not working
with him directly. We've spoken many times and always get along
very well. I sent him a flower a few days ago because I really
like him. I've heard that he has a girlfriend of 10 years but
I'm not sure if that's true. Was it right that I sent him a
flower? Should I continue sending him gifts because I was told
that if you want to get a guy with a girlfriend (if he has one)
you have to make him feel guilty. He's always flirting with me
and asking me if I like it when he teases me. What should I do?!
I really want to be with him!
- Samantha, Age 19 from Canada
So, you're setting off to ruin a 10 year relationship and you
want my advice on how best to destroy this other woman's
happiness for your own selfish purposes. Do I have that about
right? Oy vey. Didn't your parents teach you about 'right' and
'wrong'? NO you shouldn't have sent him a flower. How about
finding out if he's single first? It sounds like he might just
be anyway.
- The Man
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- When a guy gets turned on, does
it always hurt if he doesn't get "relief"?
- Holly, Age 25 from California
No, but us guys will absolutely swear that it does. 
- The Man
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- I have been with my boyfriend
for 3 years now. We are going to start planning a wedding.
Except for the last year he seems to have changed and he gets
frustrated with me easily over simple things. I'm scared if I
marry him that this will continue. He is making me miserable. I
have told him this but he feels Its all my problem and thinks
I'm to sensitive. I have asked him to go to a relationship
councilor. Do you think this is a good idea?
- Nicole, Age 25 from California
No, not really. He's wrong for you. It's time to move on and
grow. It's hard to end something this promising, but you need to
find a person who makes you HAPPY. People change over time.
That's why I always tell people not to marry young. This is a
good example. You got to find out BEFORE you put on a ring and
squeezed out a couple of rug rats. Consider yourself lucky.
- The Man
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- Before we were married, my
husband would buy me cards for my birthday and other holidays.
Now that we are married, he has "missed" two
birthdays. I have calmly tried to talk to him about this
subject, but he seems to get a upset and somewhat defensive.
Should I continue to let this bother me or should I just forget
it? In all other aspects of married life, he is kind, thoughtful
and considerate. We have been together for 7 years and this is
began happening right after we were married. I should mention
that for me, birthdays are a wonderful occasion, while my
husband seems to be indifferent about the whole idea.
- Lisa, Age 36 from Illinois
Lisa, it's easy to get frustrated with the little things in
life. We all do it. I do. I guess I'd remind you that your life
is basically a good one. If your husband forgets the little
things once in a while, you can drive yourself mad or you can
ignore it and have a happier life. Lets face it. It would be
really nice if he got you cards for these occasions, but this
really just a pet peeve. Now don't get me wrong - it's
reasonable to expect a birthday card. The rest of the world gets
them. I'm just saying that with all the things that have gone
right in your life, can't you learn to over look one or two
indiscretions?
- The Man
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- Why are men turned on by
lesbians?
- Bev, Age 24 from Maine
Why did thy invent the double scoop ice cream cone? Two is
always better then one.
- The Man
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- I have been seeing someone on
and off for about two years. I won't hear from him for two or
three months and then get an email saying, "thinking of
you" or "miss you"...what does this mean? I feel
there is strong chemistry between us and that when he starts to
get feelings he pulls away (he even told me this)...is he lying?
- Debbie, Age 47 from Texas
My instinct tells me he's simply comfortable with the
relationship like this. After all, if he wanted to see you more
often, he could, right? Not everyone is cut out for the
cookie-cutter style relationship we've all been raised to
expect. I, for instance, can't have a serious girlfriend because
of the time commitment. I need a woman who can entertain herself
when I'm busy most of time (and not cheat while she's doing it).
Those kinds of women are hard to find. I don't think he's lying
to you, but you never really know. Proceed with caution.
- The Man
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- Listen to The
Man's 10 Minute Internet Talk Show, built for your coffee break.
Click here
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- I have two different male
"friends" that I have sex with now, one is 27, and the
other is 32. They both enjoy satisfying me when we have sex, but
I have a hard time having an orgasm with either one. They both
love doing all kinds of positions, but none of them seem to work
for me. I cum a lot, but what can I do to increase my chances of
having an orgasm during sexual intercourse??? I've experienced a
few without sex, but I would really like to have them during
sex!
- Mercedes, Age 23 from North Carolina
A watched pot never boils. Try relaxing. It will happen soon
enough. By the way, there are many women who don't experience
orgasms during sex. Might be worth a trip to the doctor for
additional information.
- The Man
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- Why is it always a bad thing to
experience *adult* things young? I realize that if you eat the
whole cake at once, there's nothing left to enjoy, but your
opinion seems to be that everyone should have sex, get married,
etc. when they are your age and beyond. Also, why is Oklahoma
such a bad place to live? At least people are friendly.
- Jeanie, Age 20 from Oklahoma
There's nothing wrong with Oklahoma. It's just easy to make
fun of. Regarding your first question, here's the deal. Young
people are too stupid to see into the future and realize just
how seriously their opinions will change as years go by.
Throughout time, we adults have tried and tried to explain to
young people why the shouldn't do this or that, but it never
works. Young people simply don't know much about anything and
they need to learn lessons for themselves. That's not going to
stop us older, wiser, more mature people from trying to clue
them in from time to time. If you want to understand a little
more about what I'm trying to tell you, think back to when you
were 11. You're older and more mature now, right? Well when
you're 30 and you're talking to a 22 year old, imagine the world
of difference between the two? Don't you think the 30 year old
would have a lot of good and useful information? There are a LOT
of dangers on today's world and most young people need to be
saved from themselves.
- The Man
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- I am a 27 year old wife of
almost 7 years. I know that was too young to get married. I
realize this now. I have 2 kids and the youngest is his. The
oldest is a 9 year old from a previous relationship. He treats
her very different from his own. He yells at her a lot and gets
after her for petty things. I'm tired of it and I feel he has
emotionally broken her down somewhat. I told him if he did not
stop I was going to leave but he won't listen!!! he is very
strong minded and stubborn!! help!!!!!
- Clare, Age 27 from North Dakota
Help yourself, Clare. Leave. He needs to get some help for
himself and you need to make sure you kid has a good chance at
life, which includes having a healthy self esteem. If he won't
give it to her, then you need to do it yourself.
- The Man
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- My friend told me that my
boyfriend asked her last year to have sex with her. My boyfriend
denies it, but I believe my friend because she has no reason to
lie and he has every reason. That doesn't bother me so much, but
the fact that he is denying it bothers me. Also, I think he has
cheated on me but how am I suppose to know?
- Monica, Age 18 from Kansas
Why do you need to know. If you think he's a liar and you think
he's trying to bang your girlfriend, then what more proof that
he's a jerk could you possibly need? He's a jerk. Get it?? Time
to make a decision. Either you don't care that he's a asshole or
you do. If you do, then it's time to cut the rope.
- The Man
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