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Archives From 05/02/01 --- |
- My boyfriend and I have been
going out for 8 months and having sex for 6 months. No matter
WHAT we do, he always tells his best friend (even if it's just a
quick blow job!!). I told him it kinda bugs me but he says if he
can't talk to his friend then whom can he talk to? He says it's
a guy thing. Is that true? Is there anything I can do to help
keep what we do between us?
- Kim, Age 17 from Canada
Not a thing, sister. In fact, you should be happy he tells you
the truth. At least he's not blowing smoke up your chimney. I'm
in my 30s and when I get laid, I still tell one or two close
buddies the news. (By the way, I should mention that I would NOT
be telling people if I was getting laid regularly such as when I
have a girlfriend. Everyone sort of just assumes it at that
point so there's no need.) Telling buddies that you got knobbed
last night is a big part of the male sexual experience. It's
like the victory lap when you've already won the race. What the
hell good is it if you can't stand up and take a bow??! People
need recognition for their accomplishments! Getting laid
is all about bragging rights when you're 18. Might as well get
used to it.
- The Man
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- I have been going out with my
boyfriend for 7 months. We have a good relationship but his
friends are saying rumors about me and now he wants to leave me.
What should I do?
- Anonymous
Simple. Sleep with all his friends. Might as well commit the
crime if you're going to be accused. *JUST KIDDING*. If he
doesn't trust you, dump his ass. If he really wanted to be with
you, he'd be angry and upset at the rumors. If he's not, then it
sounds like he wants to ditch you anyway. Sounds like your
relationship is coming to an end. I'm free Saturday.
- The Man
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- I'm quite an attractive woman,
or so I been told a million times. I've also always been in a
male group of friends so I tend to get along with men a lot
easier than women. I have a problem: I'm 5'10" and the man
I fancy is 5'7". He's really self conscious about it. He
tells almost every one of our friends how great I am but when I
finally asked him out he said 'no'. All just because of the
height thing! How can I make him realize that I don't give a
damn about how tall he is? I don't want to hurt his feelings.
- Katie, Age 21 from Australia
He's a wimp. Tell him to get over it. If he can't, then
maybe he won't ever be able to get over it. People tend
to really dwell on their physical impediments whether it be size
or... size - if you know what I mean ;-). This is sort of like
anorexia, right? In a sense, he's deluding himself into thinking
that you're relationship would not be a good one based solely on
your physical differences. That's a very difficult obstacle to
overcome - a mental rather than physical barrier... Try telling
him the truth - that you're aware of his discomfort but that it
shouldn't matter to him and to just get over it (sometimes it
helps to take the bull by the horns and just be direct as hell.)
Telling him that size doesn't matter to you is a waste of time.
He doesn't care. Size matters to HIM. Get it? Anyway, it sounds
like you have nothing to lose. (On the other hand, you're
assuming a lot... For instance, maybe he said 'no' because
you're a pain in the ass?)
- The Man
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- My wife and I have been happily
married for 10 years, but recently I have become jealous of her
constant wandering eyes. It doesn't matter where we are, she
seems to find the best looking man in sight and stares him down
for minutes on end. The other man may be 100 feet away or may be
3 feet away from us. She will look away when I look at her then
immediately return to him. She even repositions herself to see
him better. Keep in mind this is not just one man, but always
some man in the crowd. I have confronted her and she absolutely
denies it. Believe me its obvious and I consider it rude to me
and them. Should I be worried? Do I have a right to be jealous
or as she says, does she have a right to look at whoever she
wants with the eyes god gave her?
- Darryl, Age 36
I'd get over it. You sound like a chick. They are always
complaining that guys are looking around. That's what guys do.
You're woman's girlfriends must have a field day with you. I
suggest you get over it. If it really bothers you, let her know
that you consider it rude and disrespectful to you. It's a true
statement. Many women do the same to their men and they
eventually wean them of the habit. Old habits die hard, but they
do die.
- The Man
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- I returned from Italy a week
ago. I met someone on the plane and we spoke for 6 hours
non-stop. I'm not even the talkative type! We exchanged numbers
and he asked me to call him because he is in the army and things
are a bit difficult to do there. I like him a lot, but the last
hour we were together we were sort of teasing each other (neck
and cheeks, don't get the wrong idea here). I'm not for the all
sex relationship and some instinct of mine says that that's what
he wants…. What do I do?
- Marian, Age 22 from Ireland
Listen to your gut. It's usually correct. People have a hard
time learning to listen to their instincts, which has always
been ironic to me because instinct is usually right! If you have
a strong gut feeling, most times you won't go wrong by following
it.
- The Man
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- I've been with my boyfriend for
a little while now. Lately we have a little problem in bed. He
tends to have his orgasm WAY too soon. Within minutes of us
beginning to have sex. Thicker condoms don't work, and we've
even tried less foreplay. Every once in a blue moon he'll last
for a good while but we can't seem to figure out what we've done
different that time around. How can we make it so he lasts
longer then two minutes in bed?
- Stephanie, Age 19 from Texas
Here's what I do. I keep a notepad right by the bed (well, since
I got my handy dandy palm pilot I use that). When I'm making
love, I sometimes roll over in the middle of things and jot down
a couple of quick notes. I suggest you try that. Voice recorders
work okay, but sometimes understanding what I've said 'in the
moment' can be difficult when listened to at a later time. Also,
try getting some graph paper and mapping things out. Positions,
orientations in 3D views, that kind of thing. I've found it
helps to have a game plan in place. Try to keep things on
schedule. For instance:
Blowjob: minutes 1-13
Her trip to the bathroom to spit: minute 14
Break for notes: minutes 14-16
Oral sex from man returning the favor (seems like forever!):
minutes 17-50
Break for notes: minutes 51-52.
Stupid comment about her pot belly momentarily ruins mood:
minutes 53-55
Drink of water and trip to the bathroom: minutes 52-59
Sex: minute 52 (lasted almost an hour this time honey!)
Get the picture?
- The Man
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- When my wife and I have sex,
she always wants me to eat her out. She says I do a great job
but when I want to do it in her ass she always says no! Is this
normal, or do most women like it from behind?
- Gary, Age 48 from Kansas
Girls come in many flavors
Some like to trade sexual favors
Others seem like selfish lovers
Who won't turn over under covers.
Sounds like your wench is one of those
Who likes the licken' to curl her toes
It's just too bad she cannot see
How much fun a backdoor encounter can be.
- The Man
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- My husband and I have been
married for 4 years now, and our sex life is like over already.
When we were dating it was great. He says that the reason it was
so good before was because he was smoking marijuana every day.
He has been clean for 4 years. He is 25 years old and I am 28...
I need help fast before this rips our marriage apart. We have
talked about it lots of times, but we always end up in an
argument. Please help...
- Sandy, Age 28 from Michigan
Get his some grass. Get some porn DVDs. Maybe get on the ol'
treadmill and lose the thighs. Could be that nothing will help.
If he's not into it anymore then there may be nothing left that
will help. On the other hand, there is more to a good marriage
then sex. Yes, it's great, but if you have something good, then
you might, ugh, learn to live with it. Just depends on what you
want. No matter where you go and what you do, the grass is
always greener. (In your case it's much greener.) But if you
like what you have with this guy, then perhaps the concession is
worth it...? You ultimately will need to decide. By the way, are
you sure he's not getting it somewhere else? That would explain
the lack of interest.
- The Man
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- I really like this guy and I
feel that he has the same feelings for me - the problem is that
I work closely with him and he lives with his girlfriend of 8
years. Although he says that he is going to move out on his own
and therefore break up with his girlfriend, he still refers to
her as his girlfriend, does everything with her and has even had
me meet her and hang out with her. Why is he doing that? And is
it realistic of me to think that anything will happen with us?
- Gloria, Age 24 from South Carolina
Dumping a woman that you've been with for 8 years is not an easy
thing to do. People resist change and 8 years is a whole lot of
time. Add to that the fact that you're fishing off the company
pier AND he's a taken man. I have to say, "what the hell
are YOU thinking??!" I already know what he's thinking:
Jeez it's nice to have my cake and eat it too. This guy is not
for you.
- The Man
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- I'm married of 8 years and with
him for 18. I have been sleeping with my boss for 6 months. I
have left my husband 3 weeks ago because he thinks I'm going
through menopause. Has even forced me to the doctors to put me
on "Happy Pills" which I haven't taken. I have real
feelings for my boss as he does me, but I miss my hubby
extremely. Whichever one I'm with at the time makes me feel
great, but then I miss the other. It was supposed to be just sex
with the boss and that's all! All 3 of us are unhappy. My hubby
doesn't know about the affair. He just thinks I'm crazy. We are
talking some and even had dinner, but all I do is cry. How the
hell do I fix this? To make it worse. A female employee of my
husband's co. is looking for a new sugar-daddy and her sites are
on him. I don't think he's sleeping with her, but it is a
lifetime friend of both of ours. Can you help me?
- Amber, Age 42 from Pennsylvania
Can I help you?!?! Nobody can help you. You're a total
mess. You're cheating... with your boss... you've left your
husband... who's considering having you committed so he can work
the chick at his company guilt free. Have you called Jerry
Springer yet? You have more drama in your life right now than
I've had in the last 10 years. Here's some advice: Stop sleeping
with your boss. Move back in with your man. Basically, your
problems are ALL self inflicted wounds, hun. You've hurt
yourself and everyone around you with your selfishness. You need
to look inward for stability, not outward.
- The Man
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- Did you
know The Answer Man can now be listened to in MP3 format? It
takes about 5 minutes to download each episode on a standard
modem. Even faster on DSL.
Click Here
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- What's the best way to pull a
guy off? What I do doesn't seem to arouse my man enough. I'm
afraid I'm doing something wrong.
- Nikki, Age 16 from Australia
Try not PULLING! It's not a leash, sister. (kidding) I just have
to say that listening to slang from people in other countries
always makes me chuckle. In the USA we don't say 'pull a guy
off'. Reading your question brought up some really funny mental
images.
- The Man
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- I'm 30 and my husband is 40. I
want sex all the time but he doesn't. I know he's not cheating
but I feel that there could be something I'm doing wrong. I give
him a BJ every time to make him happy. Is there something I'm
doing wrong?
- Anonymous, Age 30 from Tennessee
Yes, stop giving him BJs. Once he's gotten off that first time,
his sex drive heads south faster than Admiral Byrd on a sunny
day. If he's not getting his BJ, he's going to have to find
other ways to get satisfied. I'd try that for starters.
- The Man
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- How does one go about
contacting, or sending a song to a particular artist?
- Candice, Age 31 from Arizona
Forget this idea. Most artists don't want other people's music.
You will never convince them to take your songs no matter how
good they are. Those artists that DO use songs other people
wrote have to be very concerned with royalties and copyright
law. It's a legal headache and it's expensive to settle all the
rights and royalty issues. If you send them a song, they usually
won't even listen to it because they wouldn't want you to claim
at some point in the future that you influenced them and
therefore deserve the $10 million you're suing for. In order to
get a song into the hands of an artist (I'm assuming you mean a
professional, well know and possibly famous artist) you would
need to go through several layers of people just to get to their
agent. Most likely you wouldn't even get past the receptionist
at the record label. Bottom line - If you're a 'nobody', you've
got virtually NO chance. On the other hand, money talks with
these people. If you have an extra $100,000 lying around, you
might be able to hire the artist for a private show or something
like that. Then you'd have his/her attention and could pitch
your song.
- The Man
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- Dear A-Man I love your site.
You give some great advice. That's why I am coming to you with
my problem! I am dating this guy. I really like him but I have
heard 2 different things about him from his family and friends.
Some of his friends say that he just using me and some say he's
not. I have asked him about it but we always get interrupted by
something and we have to talk later. Later never seems to come!
How can I get him to tell me if he is or not? Please help!!
- Becky , Age 18 from Indiana
Okay. First of all, what makes you think he's going to stand up
and tell you he's just after a piece of ass?? Here's what you
do. Don't ask. Make up your own mind. If he's just after
your tail you'll find out soon enough and you'll drop him like a
bad habit. At 18 years old you can consider it a valuable
'learning experience'. There are many of these 'learning
experiences' ahead for you, my dear. Just have some fun with
this guy. If it's something serious it'll become obvious with
time. The opposite is also true Besides, you shouldn't really
care at your age, so stop worrying and start enjoying yourself.
- The Man
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- For several years I've sold the
idea to my wife of retiring after our youngest child leaves for
college in August 2001. My wife of 36 years had always responded
in vague and uncertain terms. My plans are now quite firm for
retirement and travel. Recently she surprised me. She simply
stated she is not retiring. She says she is not making any
"major change" because she never committed to
anything. What would you do?
- Ron, Age 59 from North Carolina
What's her objection. Money? Are you guys financially stable and
ready for old age? If not, then I'd suggest you keep working
until you're safe. Then do those things. If that's not the issue
then I'd hop a plane for the Greek Islands and send her a post
card (to her work address so she sees is while she's in her
cubicle at the office). She'll come around. If she doesn't,
believe me, you're still going to have loads of fun. What would
I do??? I'd be outta there like a bullet. You can't MAKE people
have fun if they don't want to. That doesn't mean you need to
suffer too. Head for the hills, man. Enjoy yourself a little.
- The Man
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- For a while now my collage
roommate and I have found it to be quite enjoyable to do some
big time making-out with each other. We're not lesbians or
anything, it's just a fun way to act out our sexual needs when
there are no guys around to do that with. My question is: do you
think that most guys would or wouldn't want to get into a
relationship with me knowing that me and my roommate have done
EVERYTHING together, or would it not matter?
- Angelina
Where do you live? Is it near my house in California?? I'm
stopping by.
- The Man
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- I am extremely attracted to a
co-worker. We are both divorced. I am 35 & she is 44 with
kids at home. I have no problem with the age, just don't know
how to approach her from the whole work aspect. We have a lot in
common, just want to do the right thing without embarrassment
for either of us. It's a small office - only 6 of us and I am
the only male. What would you advise?
- Toby, Age 35 from Missouri
You're playing with fire, man. If it's not TOTALLY obvious that
you're 'in' then you're on really, really dangerous ground.
Dating a co-worker is one of the world's dumbest acts. Most
people do it as if they were lemmings. The just hit the water
and start swimming with no forethought whatsoever. If you don't
mind leaving your job at some point, then do what ever you want.
Keep in mind your actions may force HER to leave her job and may
impact her kids. I'd roll very slowly on this one, sparky. I'd
be absolutely certain that she's in the game before I even
HINTED that she was on your menu.
- The Man
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- My boyfriend and I have been
having sex for a while now and I still bleed... I think he has
to big of a penis. Any suggestions?
- Staci, Age 16 from Indiana
What kind of suggestions are you looking for? Let some air out
of his penis? File it down a little? Do an Indian "shrinky
dinky" dance? What??? Go see your doctor about the blood.
While you're there ask her.
- The Man
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