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--- Advice Column for Jan, 2003 ---

  • I've been best friends with this guy for about 6 years. We've always been really close, and since I just got back in town from working at a ski resort in another town for the last year, we've been even closer. I've started to think of him as more than just my best friend, and more of a -- well, potential boyfriend. I mean - I can't be totally crazy. We have mutual interests, we like spending time together and we can have completely candid conversations! I've mentioned this feeling to mutual friends and a lot of them think that maybe it's not such a good idea to pursue anything but I think that this COULD work... If I pursue this and the feelings aren't mutual then I've just lost the best friend I've ever had. What do I do?
    - Bridgit, Age 19 from Canada

    The "BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND 3 POINT CONVERSION" is one of the trickiest maneuvers in the relationship game. You're in good company. At some point in everyone's life they decide they really like someone who calls them a 'friend'. We're all faced with that same choice, too: Risk it all or... not. I usually recommend the controversial alcohol approach. It's looked down upon by the masses, but the fact is it can be very effective in this specific situation. Here's how it works: Take your good buddy out for drinks. Get totally wasted (shots work well). Then when he's let his guard down, attack him as if his mouth was on fire and you were going to heroically put it out with your tongue! If he beats you off with an empty bar stool, you can claim 'the booze made me do it - it'll never happen again'. Never fails.
    - The Man
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  • I have a teacher and I love him like a father. Sometimes it feels like God really gave me another chance with my father. (My father passed away.) He reminds me so much of my daddy. I go and talk to him when I'm depressed and he's been great about everything. He knows I have a hard time trusting men and he's done everything he can to help. He gave me his phone number and told me he'd pick me up if I needed him. He's been really good about not giving me more attention than the rest of his students and everything. Lately he's been acting really weird around me. He's been giving me a lot of attention and, about a week ago, I went to talk to him and he grabbed my cheek. Then he grabbed me and pulled my body against his. With his arm around my back, his body in front of me and my head was resting on his chest, so I couldn't really move. It was forced on me but at first it wasn't weird. Today he got really close to me, his face really close to mine. I get really nervous when he gets too close to me. I never felt this way before and it's scaring me. I know what he did wasn't right but I would trust this man with my life. What should I do?
    - Amy, Age 13 from New Jersey

    This man is dangerous and you should tell your parents. He's crossed the line. He's doing something wrong and you're in danger. Eventually he might try to have sex with you and you need to be prepared to tell him to STOP. Hopefully you can tell your mom or the principle before anything bad happens to you. It's very unfortunate that you would trust someone so much and then he would betray your trust like this. You're 13 and very innocent, but he's a teacher and should KNOW BETTER than to do this kind of thing. Take my advice. I'm SURE about this: go tell your mom what happened and ask her what to do before you get hurt. Okay? Good luck. Let me know what happens.
    - The Man
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  • As embarrassing as it is to ask this question, I need to ask. I had anal sex for the first time. Although I enjoyed it I was embarrassed when it ended. My boyfriend said I had bled, which I assumed was because it was my first time and it was rough. He headed for the shower and to his surprise and mine it was not blood it was ____. I am sooooooooo embarrassed. Is this normal?
    - Sandra, Age 25 from California

    What did you think was up there, tuna fish?
    - The Man
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  • Why would my lover suddenly want anal intercourse? And why does a guy want anal intercourse? Not that I am totally turned off by it, but I am just wondering what a guy thinks. Thanks!
    - Beverly, Age 43 from New York

    If it's all of a sudden, one of two things happened: he either saw it in a movie or magazine and decided it was about time, or he's been thinking about it for some time and finally decided to take the frontal approach with regard to asking you. This is just something 'new' that you can do. The funny thing is, it's not always what it's cracked up to be. I've heard from people that tried it once and, well, lets just say it's not their cup of java. You'll soon find out, I'll wager.
    - The Man
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  • I've known this guy for 4 years. We're pretty good friends. I'm still a virgin & he wants to have sex with me. I've been thinking about it, but the only thing holding me back is that I'm afraid that once he gets it, he won't have any reason to talk to me anymore. He says that that won't happen, but I don't know.
    - Tracci, Age 18 from Texas

    Well, while sex CAN and DOES change things, I really can't believe this guy's evil plan was to befriend you, wait for 4 years just to nail you, and then toss you aside like yesterday's newspaper. If you've been friends for 4 years, I suspect that you will continue to be friends, although your relationship will probably change. It's always better to 'do it' with someone you actually care about, but if you're old enough, and you use proper protection, then you can try it if you really want to.
    - The Man
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  • I have a rash that won't go away, and my girlfriend won't touch me until it goes away. The rash is yellow colored and it is on my penis and it pusses and all that stuff. It's not that bad but she seems to think that it is. What can I do, because when we had sex with the rash, she got it on the inside of her vagina wall and she says that it hurts. Any help you can give me would be wonderful.
    - Craig, Age 17 from Scotland

    Okay buddy, here's my advice: GO SEE A DOCTOR. For crying out loud. YUCK, man!
    - The Man
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  • My best guy friend has a unibrow and I know how much more handsome he would look if it wasn't there, but he is so sweet and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I know this is really shallow, but how do I let him know that I don't particularly like it without making him feel bad?
    - Samantha, Age 14 from Maryland

    Go see the movie Frieda. It's with Selma Hayek and it is in theatres right now. Putting that aside for a moment, I'd get some other opinions. Perhaps it's not as bad as you think it is. Some guys might look good with a unibrow. Bert from Sesame Street, for instance (j/k). Actually, there are some things that people just need to discover on their own, Samantha. You can tell him, but you're right - his feelings will probably get hurt.
    - The Man
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  • I think that Brett is masturbating in the bathroom when he goes up to shower. It sounds like it and it looks like it on the toilet paper in the trash can. I know it sounds like I am being paranoid, but I really need to know. I asked him and he said that he was not. Is there anyway I can know for sure? Is there any test that I can do on the TP to know for sure? I know that this sounds really stupid but, I am 37 years old and I really need to know if I am with the right guy, I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH! PLEASE HELP ME!
    - Krista, Age 37 from Ohio

    How does his masturbating in the bathroom make him the right guy or the wrong guy? Frankly, your Sherlock Homes impersonation is making me wonder if he's with the RIGHT GIRL. I'd be pretty upset if I were spied on like that. Guys wank, even married guys with good sex lives. Sometimes it's just more convenient, either because it's less messy, less time consuming, or just plain something different. Whatever. Guys wank. Get used to it, and stop snooping. I'm going to have to come up with some kind of a YUK award for people like you and Craig (see above).
    - The Man
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  • I have been with my mate for 9 years and I have been the ROMANTIC person out of the whole relationship. I am talking about candlelight baths and surprising him with dozens of roses and bears and not to mention I proposed to him and he happily accepted. However, my problem is his excuses for not being as romantic as I am. " I just want it to be perfect." Give me a break! Half of the things I've done cost little or nothing. How should I address this issue? I have before and I have received nothing still. I am really about to give up because each day I feel a little less appreciated than the day before. Please help if you don't mind.
    - Syreeta , Age 23 from Tennessee

    Look, some people (guys AND girls) just don't have that 'romantic' streak. You can't force that. It doesn't mean you're not appreciated. It means that they aren't romantic in a way you would like them to be. But it would be silly and stupid to let something like that sour an otherwise good relationship. Relationships are about compromise (at least that's what I'm told). This is a good example. If you like each other, then this is a good example of something that you should just stop worrying about.
    - The Man
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  • Hey Answer Man! There are two guys in my life that I respect and have feelings for, but I feel pressured by one to have a committed, exclusive relationship (Guy A). After much deliberation, I have decided that I want to date Guy B and not Guy A. I care about Guy A, but I have hurt him in the past and I don't know what to do. He used to treat me poorly, but all of the sudden he keeps telling me how head over heels he is for me. How do I break it off with him so that I can pursue a relationship with Guy B?
    - Isis, Age 20 from Ohio

    Cleanly and finally. No sense in drawing this out. I remember being "Tuesday Night Guy" for some girl I had just started dating (she confessed that there were other guys). At first I was okay with it simply because we had just met and I didn't feel like it would be right to tell her that she's got to be exclusively with me since we didn't really even know each other that well, but then I realized that I didn't want to date a girl that was with other men. The moral is, if you're done playing, then be done sooner then later.
    - The Man
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  • I'm a 28yr old career-oriented, very good-looking single woman. My problem is that when I hang out at clubs I always attract the guys who are considered to be "rubbish" instead of the gentlemen. What's wrong please? And why are the right kind of men so scarce?
    - Margaret, Age 28 from England

    Is this a trick question? Men go to bars to find miss 'right now', not miss right. I know things are different in Europe, but not THAT different. I'm not saying it's impossible to find a nice guy in bars (I go to bars) but I wouldn't have that be the only line you're fishing with. Try some professional organizations, clubs, sports, etc. There are men EVERYWHERE. Hell, out here in the Silicon Valley, there's 10 men for every woman. My kingdom for a nice girl!
    - The Man
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  • Hi. There's this cute guy who's been trying to ask me out for the past 4yrs, but I always manage to find an excuse because he just isn't my type. How do I tell him politely that I'd rather have him as a friend than as a boyfriend?
    - Christine, Age 22 from Michigan

    Actually, I think the way you put it to me would work just fine. Telling him you like him more as a friend than anything else can work wonders... In situations like this, I usually opt for the frontal approach to problem solving. Good luck.
    - The Man
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