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| LATEST ADVICE QUESTION
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I am a 33 year old divorced single mom of two. Therefore I am playing with three hearts in the dating world. I have gone on many first dates and talked to several men only to find out very quickly they were not worth any more time. I started dating this man about a month and a half ago. He has been divorced for about 1 year and a half with 2 kids, and has also dated. From our first date things started off very heavy. He told me a lot of serious things such as he doesn’t want to see anyone else, he believes in love at first sight now and he thinks he loves me. The whole first week we were together, things were very intense. We texted many times throughout the day, talked, saw each other several times. He did go through one period where he disappeared for a day. We had no contact or any response to my texts or calls. His explanation was that he is just not a phone person (which he told me), and that he was fine with the way things are going. He is now going through another phase where I don’t get a response when I text or call. I make a very conscious effort not to call or text incestuously and try not make him feel smothered. When we are together, things seem fine. He still refers to future events, and getting kids involved. My question is should I worry about the times that he disappears and doesn’t respond for a day?
- Audrey, Age 33 from Ohio on Aug 17, 09
Intense contact with someone you don't know is a risky business. No matter how great things are in the beginning, you really don't know someone well until serious time has passed. Now that being said, I'm not encouraging you to drop the guy. I've had some of these intense relationships myself that were on the level. And maybe he just needs some space once in a while. One day out of the week in a new relationship is not really all that much - in fact it's not much at all. On the other hand, you'd be silly to believe everything he says without knowing him better and knowing more about him. Also, the things he has said to you seem fishy. All that jazz about love at first sight is a little to convenient. Besides, he might fall out of genuine love as quickly as he falls in. So, my message here is not to drop this guy, but to treat him with real, genuine caution. He could be on the level, but he could also have a second family in some house across town so you need to be very, VERY careful with this one.
- The Man
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