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• I've been in a relationship with a really nice lady for three months. The problem I'm having is that she has four dogs that she is very close to. Every time I'm around her, she seems to pay more attention to the dogs then me. I'm not a demanding person, and I don't need to constantly have someone paying attention to me. She even needs to have the dogs sleep in bed with us when I spend the night. These dogs snore and move around a lot. I feel like I'm taking a back seat to these dogs. I put a higher value on human life than an animal. Any advice?
   - Ken, Age 34 from Iowa on Apr 01, 08
  
  How should I put this? Sounds like you're wrong for each other. She's never going to give up the dogs, and you're always going to feel like you're in second place. That being said, you could always tell her how you feel. Maybe she would give you more attention if she understood your feelings. Communication is key to any successful relationship, so it can't hurt to let her know. By the way, if more people felt less like you did about animals, the world would be a better place.
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• I am 12 years old. Many people in my class at school have boyfriends, but I haven't had one yet. There's this boy that I'm friends with, and over time I have begun to have a crush on him. I think if I asked him out, he might say yes. There is another problem though. My parents think that I'm too young to be dating. I tried asking my mom why I can't have a boyfriend, and she just told me what I said before: that I am too young. I really want to honor my parents' wishes, but I've listened to my mom talk before and she thinks that even high school is too young for a boyfriend. I'm afraid that if I wait too long, my friend may not be single anymore, but I also would like to obey my parents. What should I do?
   - Mary, Age 12 from Utah on Apr 01, 08
  
  First of all, Mary, let me say that I'm incredibly impressed with your email. Not a single spelling error AND you use proper punctuation without me needing to correct it. I don't think I've ever gotten an email from someone your age that writes this articulately and clearly. Very nicely done! :) As for your question: I would say that having a boyfriend is just a title. It doesn't really mean anything when you're 12 anyway. You're going to have many boyfriends as you learn about the qualities you like and dislike in a man. It's just something that you call yourself and your relationship. You can still have a 'close' friend regardless of the title. The reason your mom has told you not to do this is because she is worried that you'll start doing things girls do with their boyfriends (i.e. sex). As long as you're careful not to get too involved with your little boyfriend, you should be okay. Just keep your distance and you'll keep your honor.
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• My question is simple: Do you have any tips as far as sexually seducing a guy? I know that every guy has their 'turn ons' but what are a few of the best ways to seduce a man?
   - Dezi, Age 18 from Texas on Apr 01, 08
  
  You're a woman which means that sexually seducing a guy is much easier than you think. Most women have the necessary tools right in their bras. Of course, if that doesn't work, you could try beer. Beer works 80% of the time and Vodka fills out the other 20%. If none of those things work, then check the mirror: perhaps you're not REALLY a woman. ;)
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• How do you go about letting somebody down easily in a long distance relationship that you have just been dating casually? She lives two hours away and I don't want to drive all the way down there just to dump her.
   - Dan, Age 33 from Louisiana on Mar 30, 08
  
  I think it's okay to do it by phone if you're not serious. I wouldn't send her an email or anything, but for a casual relationship - something that's not yet 'serious' a phone call - as long as it's in person and not a message - is acceptable dating etiquette.
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• A have a problem with the lady who cleans for me. She has a friend who is also on the property and the friend comes into my place when I am not there. I have had several things turn up missing, but I do not believe it is the woman who cleans. Her friend is a different story. How do I tell her that I don't want the person in my house anymore when I am not there, without actually saying that I think she is stealing?
   - Carol, Age 30 from Texas on Mar 29, 08
  
  This is a classic case of honesty being the best policy. I wouldn't be as worried about her stealing something as I would about her accidentally breaking something, tracking dirt into the house, etc. Just tell her it's not appropriate to have anyone over for any reason. I don't think you need to bring up the subject of theft at all if you don't want to. If she still lets her friend in, get rid of her.
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• I have been living with my boyfriend for a year now. I am never invited to his parents for any Holidays. Also, his parents have not been to the house since I've moved in. He won't talk to me about it either. I'm 53 and he's 48. His mother told him he shouldn't date me because I have a heart condition. He's very tight with his money, he makes me pay for half of the check when we go out. I'm totally frustrated and am planning on moving out. Any insight on what is going on with him?
   - Joyce, Age 53 from Minnesota on Mar 29, 08
  
  This is just another one of those 'should love win out' letters. Do you think love should win out? Can you put up with the pet peeves you have because you love him so much? If not, leave. And stop worrying about the parents. Who knows, maybe it's a blessing in disguise? How many people do you think write to me about how their in-laws are a pain in the arse? Well, none for a while to be honest, but you get the point. That's just a silly thing to worry about.
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• I am so scared. My parents have been fighting a lot and I think they are going to have a divorce. I asked my mom if they are and she doesn't answer. I am really worried because if they do I wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't know who to choose. What should I do?
   - Jessica, Age 10 from New York on Nov 07, 06
  
  Hi Jessica. Your parents will always be your parents regardless of whether they choose not to live with one another. Sometimes people grow apart. It's natural and unfortunately as a ten year old, there really isn't much you can do. Recently a study came out showing that fewer than 50% of couples are married these days. That puts married people in the minority, which means you're in the same boat as a lot of 10 year old kids out there. I think that the most you can do is hope they stay together and that's really about it. Try to relax. Divorce sucks when you're 10, but there are some positive things that can come from it. For instance, your folks won't fight so much. That's means less stress for you. I don't know if you'll have to choose. Usually parents share custody. Good luck!
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• I'm going through divorce and my ex-wife has pretty much given me everything and I still don't think its enough. I have the kids 50% of time, I pay minimal child support on my two boys and she has repeatedly cut me breaks during the divorce. She has a new boyfriend who is a really great guy and rides a kick ass dirt bike.... Should I hate him or am I just a friggin whiny-ass moron who expects life to be handed to him? By the way I have been banging the day-care lady for the past five years. She smells so great with orange oil on her and she's always sending me pictures of her breasts. I'm friends with her husband.
   - Fred, Age 31 from Michigan on Nov 04, 06
  
  I'm tending to lean towards 'whiny-ass moron'. There's so many issues here I'm not sure where to start. First of all, you're cheating on your wife with a friend's wife. That makes you a double home-wrecker. Secondly, you're concerned about the fact that your wife's new boyfriend rides a stupid motorcycle. You're 31! Are you really still that immature at 31? I suppose I could understand if it was a Porche because many women desire security and everyone likes fancy things, but a dirt bike? That's like a high school issue, not a complex 'why our marriage ended' issue. I think you should let your wife and her new boyfriend be - and I think you should do a couple of things to make her feel better in the divorce just as she has done for you. It's a growth experience, Fred. Obviously she wasn't the right girl for you if you felt compelled to cheat on her all the time. Wish her the best of luck (and mean it) and hope she has a good and happy life.
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• A man that I have been friends with for years is in a relationship with a girl who he has realized and admitted that he does not love. I am also friends with the girl. I am falling for this guy and there is an obvious connection between us (even his friends have noticed and think we'd be great together). I don't want to get between him and his girl so he is unaware of my feelings and we are all just friends. The question is, do I wait around or move on? He and I are the same age 38 the girl friend is 25
   - Cat, Age 38 from Canada on Nov 04, 06
  
  It's hard to compete with a 25 year old when you're 38. I think you have to hang back. If he's not in love with her, it will end soon enough. Sex is only good for a while. Eventually both people get tired of it and start looking for something more meaningful. My sense is that eventually you'll get your chance to express your feelings. When you do get the chance, I say go-for-broke. Otherwise you'll always wonder what could have been.
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• Me and my ex boyfriend have decided to stay friends. I have told him more then once that I'm over him and don't want to be with him. He has a new girlfriend now. He says he loves her but I doubt it because he says that about every girl he dates. I can't stop thinking about him. I don't call him any more and I have a boyfriend. Am I really over him?
   - Mandi, Age 17 from Oregon on Nov 04, 06
  
  Not if you're writing to me about it. Do you want to be over him? Was there some problem that ended the relationship? I think you can get over anyone with enough time - especially at 17. You're not really supposed to take relationships that seriously at your age anyway. If you really want to be over this guy for some reason, then time will work in your favor - eventually you'll be free of him.
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